New Beginning!

Have you ever gotten tired of letting yourself down? Not someone else letting you down, but you actually doing it to yourself and you know it's nobody's fault but your own.  You're not happy where you are, however you keep making excuses for why you haven't changed it yet.  Well for me I made up all kinds of excuses (in my head)....like, "well it's the middle of the week, might as well wait to start fresh on Monday", "it's the weekend, I'll eat good during the week", " I have time to get it right", "it's not that bad, just in my head".  Well yesterday I took the first step to shutting down my excuses for not working out.  See I work from home, and it's so easy to just go to the gym after work and then go pick up my son from after school.  But ask me have I been doing it ....NOPE.  Reasons (that's aren't good reasons), he just started back to school last week so it was my "get back on track mommy mode" school excuse, so hey I'll put it off til next week.  Then next week came (is here) and let's see Monday it was a holiday, I mean who really works out on holidays? (people who don't make excuses and commit to living a healthier life),then Tuesday came and well I did have a lot of running around to do in order to get Alius ready for football for the first time, then we got to Wednesday and I still had a lot of running around to do, but during work hours, as I sat at my desk it kept nagging at me that I have to stop making excuses.  I mean I am starting to get on one of my bff's nerves with all this talk about how I don't like my body and how I feel like my face is getting fat, and then she brought it to my attention that I'm starting to sound like this other chick we know that goes on a different diet every other week (NO SERIOUSLY) and still no results.  So hey that was my wake up call, like yeh you're right, I'm starting to get on my own nerves with this myself, so how about I do something about it.  So step one was rearranging my work schedule so that I could take a longer lunch and make that my gym time, instead of waiting until I got off work to have to rush to get my son after a gym workout, take him to practice, get homework done, dinner, bath, and in bed by 9:30.  It didn't work out well last year so why do that to him or myself again this year.

So today started my new schedule and I must say although it's just day one of my new beginning and I can't lie and say I haven't been here before and started off so well and so excited and then found an excuse to take a day off, then two, then three, which then turned into a week, then two, then three...you get the point right. But I don't have room for excuses anymore.  I have a lot to look forward too and one of those things is being comfortable in my own skin.  I can honestly say I don't think I have EVER been comfortable in my own skin, this is waaaaay before the baby, it was always something that I just didn't like. Now that I'm older, I wish I embraced my beauty and blessing that I had then, but it's okay.  Hey you have to start somewhere, I know now I have some cleaning up to do, and I'm excited about what's to come.  Some people need a support system to get to where they need or want to be, but I've come to realize that yeh that's all good and yeh it's good to have someone you have to be accountable to , but who better to be accountable to than YOURSELF.  You have to look at you in the mirror every day not them, so although it may be good to have that someone you can call on to say "hey make sure I do this" , the truth of the matter is, if it's something you seriously care enough about, you won't need anybody to push you to do it, you'll want to do it so bad, someone will have to talk you out of actually doing it. 

So here goes, day one and I'm pumped!!!!