Its days like today that makes the wait all worth it. Those days where you wake up in the morning smiling only because you had the best dream of him, the days where although he's not physically here, your dream felt so real that you felt like you were really held all night by him. Today was one of those days where the weather was rainy, that good snuggle watch a movie weather. This is one of those days where working from home is such an advantage. Stretched out in my favorite big chair with my favorite red blanket, red pillow, and smiling at the thought of him actually being here. I would be in so much trouble and miss so many calls...lol. I know I wasn't the only one with a smile on my face though, that's what made it better. What a surprise three calls all scheduled around my break times, "I just needed to hear your voice" :-). To know that there is that one person that you have that effect on, that one person that thinks before he reacts to his surroundings by just picking up the phone and calling you just to know at the sound of your voice everything is better, at ease, and soothing. To know that you are one of the reasons why keeping a cool head (In my T.I.P voice) is so important to that person on the other end of the phone.
Sometimes you get the feeling that the phone calls are not enough, and honestly speaking sometimes they aren't but I have to swallow it and keep pushing forward. Good things come to those who wait right? God I pray that this saying isn't a myth. He never ceases to amaze me. He has this amazing effect on me and my actions. He makes me want to be better for him, not that I don't do it for myself as well, but I can honestly say the positive changes that I strive to make in my life is mostly because of him. He stays on me and pushes me to do more and better. When I want to give up, he won't allow me to and he's not even here. His language has changed, so I've tried to change mine ( still working on it), his body is bananas so yes I have to push myself in the gym. His intellect is out of this world, he makes me read more. He made me want to make my relationship closer with God, he's just that amazing. When you find someone that makes you want to be better, who leads by example, who strives to not let you down, that's the kind of love you want in your life. I know it will not always be perfect, but I've realized time and time again, we are perfect for each other and that's what matters, that's the place I love to dwell in.
Yes today I'm in a Good Place and I'm so grateful for it. I hold on to these days to look forward to the next, especially when the last voice I hear is his voice and we both have a smile on our face from laughing so much and so hard. I'm at peace because I know he's going to sleep at peace, not stressed, not aggravated, and not worried, just at peace. Matter fact, his last words to me was get some sleep pooh and don't stress or worry. I try not to , I'm a single mom, stress comes with the territory you know. But still he is my calm place, my calm voice, the one that's on the phone telling me to calm down when he hears my voice raising from disciplining my son. The one that throws ideas my way to get me to try something different to make the situation better, the one that wants to give his input but make sure he doesn't step on anybody's toes. He's just calm and sweet like that. He loves me, all of me, with all my flaws and imperfections.
So to quote my FAVORITE movie ever "This right here, right now at this very moment, is all that matters to me, I love you, and that's urgent than a mutha*******" Loving the place we're in.
Smiling!
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